I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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