I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
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