The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
