goodnight i made you a song goodbye
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
