it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm like, not good at living.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
