He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
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Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
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how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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