You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
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