He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
