moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
