OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
