Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
