Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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