i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
