you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
is it fun? or sober?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
