6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
whose parrot is this?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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