My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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