Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
