I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Is that strawberry winking at me??
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
