I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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