people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
