It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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