You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
