I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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