Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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