I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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