yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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