Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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