I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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