Yo dont text me then not text me
I think im going to throw up on grandma
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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