BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
