Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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