she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
