What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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