Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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