he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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