turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
