This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Randomize
