Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
