found the other keg... it's in the tree
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
