it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
