Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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