why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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