Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize