Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
This toilet bowl is my home.
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