Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
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