420 ftw
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
We left the knife in your bed.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
