Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
