Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize