i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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