i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
