Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I want a musical about memes.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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