i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
