The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
