Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Randomize
