Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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