he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
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