I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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