she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize