yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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