Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Randomize
