how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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