one might say we're banned from that church
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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