woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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