im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
