We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
